Sunday, December 30, 2018

LOVE NEVER COMPARES



  It's high level of foolishness to compare ourselves to others. Comparing your spouse or loved ones with others is high level of madness; because, every one is unique. Even our Creator never compares us with others. In His sight, we are all unique; He does relate to each person as if he/she is  the only one existing.
   Comparison is one of the major causes of problems in relationships in homes, marriages, datings, courtships and friendships. People comparing themselves or someone with others do forgot the grass always looks greener on the other side. In the Holy Book, the APOSTLE who wrote two-third of the new testaments made a profound statement that " ...But they, measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise," because we're all created differently.
   Psychologists classified us into different temperaments; we have the choleric, the sanguine, the phlegmatic and the melancholic. Cholerics are ambitious, drivers and goal-getters. Sanguines are hilarious and social. Phlegmatics are easy-going, highly patient and do take their time to do something while the melancholics are naturally deep and analytical thinkers and researchers. People can have the four in them but one is always dominant. For instance, we can have someone who is 50% choleric, 30% sanguine, 15% phlegmatic and 5% melancholic.  This person will act differently from someone who has the percentages differently. 
   Even our heavenly Father doesn't want us to be the same because of boredom and frustration.  He prefers difference and creativity. So, never compare yourself, spouse, fiance, girlfriend or boyfriend with others; we are all unique. But this does not ignore the area of improvement on our parts. If you see any virtue you like in another person, you can pray to God and work towards possessing it. So, never compare yourself with others; we're all uniquely and wonderfully made by God. #LOVE COACH. #I-teach-write-research-counsel. #Relationship-betterment. #Love-impactor.

Saturday, December 29, 2018

LOVE COVERS MULTITUDE OF SINS


   Many people have erroneously  misinterpreted this statement to mean keeping silent when you see others doing wrong or covering up the sins of others. It refers to turning a transgressor from the error of his/her way thereby saving his/her soul from destruction. It also involves informing and showing the person how to do the right thing and the benefits thereof. This must be done in love and not in criticism. This way you are able to cover ( save) such person from other sins connected to that particular wrong thereby saving him from a multitude of sins.
   LOVE DOES NOT KEEP SILENT WHEN HE SEES A PERSON DOING WRONG; HE CORRECTS THE PERSON IN LOVE.
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#Lovecoach.

TO SPEAK IN LOVE, YOU MUST BE FILLED WITH LOVE


   You only speak out of what fill your heart. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. Gabbage in, Gabbage out. You can't give what you don't have. So if you are not filled with love (through listening to love messages , studying and medidating on unconditional love of God), there is no way you can walk in love towards others. Thank God,  the love of Christ has been shed abroad in our heart by the Holy Spirit. Therefore, we have the capacity to love others like Christ but this can only be activated by listening to love messages, studying and meditating on unconditional love of God. We have the love but need to be activated.
#Iteach
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#Loveimpactor.

LOVE IS NOT LOVE UNTIL IT IS UNCONDITIONAL


   Agape love is the highest form of love. There  are many broken homes , relationships, businesses and even broken world because of conditional love. "Dog eat Dog" kind of love; "Tit for Tat" kind of love; "As you do me I do you" kind of love. This is the reason our relationships/partnerships have not been rewarding.
   Even the Saviour of the world said in the Holy Book "if we love those who loves us, what reward have we? If we greet our brethren only, what do we do more than others? So the only way to make the world a better place is by unconditional kind of love (Agape Love) which has great recompense of reward.
   We  can see where conditional love has led us - broken homes, sadness, pain, griefs. Let's embrace agape love which is rewarding and the highest form of love. This is the only love that can make God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit gives you a standing ovation.
   This love turns foe to friend; it is the great softener of heart because it can soften the most hardened heart. Nobody resists this kind of love.  Its impact is endless, ageless and limitless.
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THE GREAT VIRTUE AFTER LOVE IS HUMILITY


   The great virtue after love is humility - the keeper of all relationships. It is not the lover that will be engraced  but the humble because the holy book said "God gives grace to the humble". God places the humble on an "express" road to greatness. Humility puts a quick end to quarrels because it takes this virtue to say "you are sorry" in the face of disagreement instead of proving points. It ends ill feelings or bitterness. It is an antidote of divorce or breakup. Love can bring two or more people together, but humility will keep them together. Humility is the source of understanding among people. This virtue can be learnt because the Saviour said in the holy book we should learn of Him as He is meek and lowly in heart.
   Lack of this virtue has reduced empire of businesses to nothing; it has caused many separations among partners (couples, business partners, friends and relatives); it has caused many children to be abandoned by father or mother (who left home for years). The meek shall inherit the earth. So it takes meekness (humility) to be entitled to good relationships,  businesses and pleasurable life. Humility is also needed in the position of leadership as it takes humility to serve others.
   In summary, Love + Humility = Heaven on Earth Relationships/Businesses/Governance.
 #Iteach
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#Lovecoach

TRUE LOVE REQUIRES DEDICATED EFFORT, AND EVEN STUDY


   True love does not happen overnight. Love can start as feelings but it's not sustained by feelings. Because feelings may not always be there. Good understanding, which is the source of true love, is provoked by studying.  This understanding leads to dedicated effort (productive effort). Understanding is needed to love your spouse/partner when he/she is unlovable. The reason most relationships don't last is  because people don't look for spices and sweetening agents to add to their relationships.
   True love happens when both partners are truly committed to each other. This comes from understanding and dedicated effort provoked by studying. Study books, listen to tapes and watch videos on how to love your partner in a better way. We are in information age, you need information to drive your relationship. STUDY TO MAKE YOURSELF APPROVE UNTO YOUR PARTNER, A LOVER MAN WHO NEEDS NOT TO BE ASHAMED,  RIGHTLY DIVIDING THE WORD OF LOVE.

 #Iteach
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#Relationshipbettterment
#Loveempowerment
#Lovecoach. 

LOVE YOUR PARTNER AS YOURSELF


    Even the Holy Book says, "Love your neighbour as yourself". So, if you don't love yourself you can't have the capacity to love others. If you value yourself, you will value others. If your respect yourself,  there is high tendency you will respect others. The value you place on yourself determines the value you will place on others.
   Some people hate their statures,  shapes, legs, noses etc. Wishing to be another person. I wonder which one of the these things they can create. Hating yourself gives low self esteem. Be proud of yourself.  Hold your head and shoulder high even when you make mistakes ( learn from mistakes but don't be a victim). Laugh at your errors; don't take them personal.
   You are a "carbon copy" of the Almighty God, the creator of heaven and earth. All His creations were beautifully and wonderfully made. Please, love yourself. Unless you do, having and maintaining a good relationship will be difficult. Because you can't give what you don't have.
#Iteach
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WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO SAY THESE THREE LITTLE WORDS "I LOVE YOU"


   "I Love You" is the sweetest language in the ears of people. Everyone wants to be loved, no one wants to be hated. Even the most hardened criminal cries for love. Stop being stingy in the expression of your love to people. Some people know that you love them but still want to hear it from you. Say these three little wonder words to people and you will see the brightest smiles on people's faces.
   Say these words to a stranger and you just make a long term friend. Say these words continuously to your spouse/partner, you'll have the sweetest relationship you've never imagined.  Parents,  say these words to your stubborn children and you will see the greatest behavioural modifications you've never seen. These three wonder words must CONTINUOUSLY be said before people can have faith in your love  since faith comes by hearing.
   Even the creator of the universe expressed the love He had for His Son through this statement "This is my beloved, in whom I am well pleased." Beloved simply means "most loved". People don't want to see only your LOVE ACTIONS, but they want to hear your LOVE TALKS.


EGO HINDERS EXPRESSION OF LOVE


   Ego which simply means self pride is the source of anger in the face of disagreement and insult.  It makes us to do the unthinkable and unimaginable. It also means Edging God Out. When God is edged out, love is edged out because God is love. No one can act in love when one is egocentric. Ego focuses only  on oneself.  It is selfish; it does not think of others. These following  statements play in the mind of an egocentric person: "Why should he do that to me?"; "Doesn't she know who I am?"; " I would rather die than to say sorry."
   This bad attitude has separated friends, couples and business partners. It breeds grudges and malice in relationship. An egocentric person finds it difficult to say "I am sorry". The person sees "sorry" quite expensive to give. Remember,  ego makes shame to be knocking at your door.
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#Lovecoach

DON'T ALLOW THE WRONG TO MAKE YOU WRONG


   This is very important in interpersonal relationship because people will do things you hate. People will hurt you. This should not make you walk in unforgiveness or bitterness. Rather,  walk in love by forgiving them. In the Holy Book, the greatest Apostle who has ever lived said " Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good". We should not allow people's bad attitudes defeat us, rather we should reciprocate in love. This will make us better spiritually and in character.
    The Saviour of the world said in the greatest book that " For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?  Do not even the tax collectors do the same? And if you greet your brethren only, what do you do more than others?  Do not even the tax collectors do so?" It means we are not to keep grudges or malice.  There is no reward in doing good only to those who love you.  You must also do good to those who hurt you. Repay every evil with good thereby defeating evil.
    Evil multiplies when  it is reciprocated in the same kind but destroyed when it is repaid with good. The chain of bitterness, unforgiveness which put people in stagnation and bondage can be shattered by love. If you repay evil with evil (hurt for hurt, hatred for hatred, tit-for-tat), you are made evil in the process. You're allowing yourself to be controlled by the behaviour of others. Even the Holy Book said "if you do good to those who do you evil,  you're putting hot coal on them." It offers that the easiest way to correct wrong is not by doing wrong but doing right.  #LOVE COACH#

ARE ALL MEN OR WOMEN THE SAME?


   Love gives concentration to the mind. It gives strength and joy. It is the source of inspirational end ideas. Don't ever act as if  you don't fall in love or don't believe in love because it might be disastrous. Don't act as if you're heartless  when you are in love with someone. Reciprocate the love shown by a person to you. Love does not make you weak, it makes you stronger. Not believing in love only leads to loneliness, frustration and depression at the end.
   No matter the level of disappointments from previous relationships, don't ever give up on love; give love a chance.  People give up on love because they think all men and women are the same.  The question I do ask them is "Have you met up to the half of the population of men or women on the earth?" There is what is called random sampling in Statistics. It is random selection from a pool of population to draw a conclusion. It offers that before drawing a conclusion that all men or women are the same, you must go into a relationship with at least one person from each town in all countries in the world which I think it's impossible. So why saying all men or women are the same? There are thousands of men and women out there who will value, appreciate and care for you. Who will not trample upon your  love and turn to attack you.
   Keep trying and don't ignore the danger sign and inward voice of the heart before going into a relationship. Because there are wolves in sheep clothing. Don't ever give up on love or else you will be the only one standing. Remember,  two good hearts are better than one.

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#Lovecoach. 

WHY DO WE HAVE MANY IRRESPONSIBLE FATHERS IN OUR GENERATION?


    Illegal separation is now a norm in our country, Nigeria. It has now become an easy escape for some fathers from responsibility for the wellbeing of their wives and children. For those who care for the difference between illegal separation and divorce. In my own understanding, illegal separation is when a father leaves home illegally and leaves the care of the family in the hands of his wife. It simply means escaping from the responsibility of the welfare of your wife and children.  Most times, the man cohabits with another lady outside thereby leaving his family to suffer. Divorce is legal separation between two partners, making the man to still be responsible for the wellbeing of the family after the separation. This is mostly practised in developed countries.
     In my African continent, divorce is very low but illegal separation is very high. You see a man leaving his wife and children for years without caring for them thereby leaving them in suffering and abject poverty. Most women in Africa especially Nigeria do bring up their children to adulthood without the fathers. This kind of separation is evil and devilish. If you want to leave your wife, go to the court and take legal action. Even though I am not an advocate of divorce, but I think illegal separation is more evil and devilish. It's really unfair to the mothers of this generation.
    Many children have become "agberos", area boys, prostitutes, drug dealers and uneducated because of this devilish act. I think that is the reason Moses allowed a man to issue certificate of divorce before dismissing his wife. He knew of the hardness of hearts of humans. Even our Saviour testified of this. The law of the land should intervene in this matter and makes every man responsible for the wellbeing of his family after leaving home illegally. This will curb crimes and devices in our country and Africa as a whole.
    Fatherhood is very important. It's not just attained by being a sperm donor but by responsibility. This write up has been burning in my heart for a while now, I am relieved for writing it. I am advocating for the fathers of this generation to be responsible.  #LOVE COACH#

TIME GIVES MEANING TO LIFE


   To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven. This statement was made by the wealthiest king who ever lived. There is time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to breakdown, and a time to build up; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to gain, and a time to lose; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.
    The creator of the universe made everything beautiful in its time. You can't have a meaningful life without the knowledge of how to wisely spend your time. What determines whether you will be poor or rich is how wisely you use your time. The dichotomy between the rich and the poor is a result of time management. Even a good relationship hangs on the pendulum of time management. If you don't know how to spend time with your spouse or lover , how do you expect them to love you more. Giving listening ear and even gisting with your lover go a long way in strengthening the bond of your relationship. Time adds beauty to life, be it business, relationship or marriage, if you invest it wisely. Don't use your time, invest it. Until you start seeing time as an investment you can't go far.  Remember,  there is a time for every purpose and for every work under heaven.

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LOVE IS NOT JUST A FEELING; LOVE IS A DECISION


  You decide to forgive.  You decide to sacrifice. You decide to commit. You decide to stick to your partner no matter what happens. You decide to romance your spouse. Seeing love as a decision rather than feelings reduces stress and propagates peace in a relationship. It makes relationships to be heaven on earth because you will automatically give unconditional love to your partner or others.
   Seeing love as a decision gives you the ability to forgive others even when you don't feel like it. It engraces us  to practice what the Saviour of the world commanded in the Holy Book "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." You will be able to love others especially your partner as yourself.  You will be able to reciprocate evil with good. You will be able to walk in love in spite of people's attitudes.
    Once you see love as a decision, you will be perfect as your heavenly Father. To forgive others will be easy. It will be difficult to harbour ill-feelings or bitterness. Anger and envy will be far away. You won't be moved by attitudes of others.  You will always be compassionate. Remember,  love is not just a feeling, it's a decision.
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LOVE IS LAYING DOWN YOUR LIFE FOR OTHERS TO LIVE


   The LOVER of the world made the following statement in the book of John the Beloved "Greater love hath no man than this,  that a man lay down his life for his friends." If offers that love is in levels. There is tit-4-tat (as you do me, I do u) kind of love. This is selfish and conditional. The greatest is "laying down your life for others" kind of love. It is not based on what others have done, rather it is based on our genuine love for them no matter what.             
   Laying down your life simply means sacrificing your time, money, energy and your real life (risking your life) to make the lives of others better. This is the kind of love we're meant to show to others. This is the kind of love husbands should show to their wives. It was even stated in the book of books that "Husbands should love their wives just as  the saviour of the world loves His people and gave Himself (life) for them." You must be ready to sacrifice anything (except God) to make your partner valuable  (or to put smile on his/her face).
   Remember,  whatever you want others to do unto you, do it to them.  #Lovecoach.
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THE POWER OF TIMING IN A RELATIONSHIP


Time defines everything. It gives meaning to life. That is why Solomon with the level of wisdom God gave him said in the greatest book ever written "There is time for every purpose under heaven." Time turns a boy to a man. It turns a baby to a father or mother of children.  It can turn a bad situation to a good situation. It can tun a bad deal to a good deal. Time heals. It has healed many people of breakups and disappointments. The benefits of time are enjoyed when things are done in their time.
   Even the creator of heaven and earth makes all things beautiful in their time. If things are done at the wrong time, the results are catastrophic. If right thing is done at the wrong time, it will still be wrong. So, right thing must be done at the right time to be right or acceptable. If as a man you toast a lady at a wrong time, it maybe the time she is in a bad state, you might get a CAPITAL NO as an answer. Study the atmosphere before you talk. That is why you must know the right time to talk. Don't talk before the time and don't talk after the time. Patience is also needed.
   In the Holy Book it was recorded that the sons of Issachar understood times and knew what Israel ought to do. As a woman,  know the right time to make a request from your man. As an employee, know the right time to talk to your boss.  As a business person, know the right time to strike that deal. The reason is, doing thing before and after time can be frustrating and discouraging. When we are talking of time we can't but mention patience and knowledge.  Patience and knowledge make time productive and resourceful.
Your LOVE COACH.
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For counseling or questions, call or WhatsApp this no: 08103085171.
Look forward to hearing from you. Thanks.

NEVER GIVE UP ON LOVE



  This statement was made by the great apostle who ever lived "Love Never Fails." It offers that love can't be exhausted. It's limitless. It has no end. If you're on the verge of giving up on love, remember, it is not over. Don't give up because quitter never wins, winner never quits. Your lover is only a stone-thrown away. No matter the level of frustration or disappointment,  it's not over.  Give love a chance again because love can't be exhausted.
   It baffles me when people say they have given up on love as if love has limit. Keep loving. Any breakup that does not kill you only makes you stronger. It makes you wiser and more observant.  It increases your level of understanding in choosing a better lover next time. See benefits in anything that happens to you in life. If life gives you lemon,  turn it to lemonade. Giving up on love only brings loneliness, frustration and bitterness. It makes forgetting the past and moving on difficult.
   The greatest man in the East in the old bible days made a profound statement when he was in a despondent state "For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again,  and that its tender shoots will not cease. Though its root may grow old in the earth, and its stomp may die in the ground, yet at the SCENT OF WATER it will BUD and bring forth BRANCHES like a plant." By the scent of love by another, your love life can rise again. As far as there is life in you, there is hope. Remember, a living dog is better than a dead lion.
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I'M IN SHOCK! THIS TRUTH MAKES ME TO BE LOVED BY PEOPLE IN 60 SECONDS


  Compassion moves you to meet people's needs. It moves you to annihilate sufferings. It moves you to do something. It moves you from being a spectator or an observer to being a doer. It makes you to unfold your hands to render help. Compassion is coined from these two words "com" and "passion". Therefore,  compassion is being passionate in rendering help to people.  It is being passionate in taking people out of bondage and afflictions. It is being passionate in putting smiles on people's faces.
  Compassion gives body to Love. You can't be lovely except you are compassionate.  It's greater than sympathy. Sympathy is good but it's not enough.  Feeling sorry for the sufferings of others is awesome, but it can't remove the sufferings. Go from being sympathetic or pitiful to being compassionate.
  In the Holy Book, the following statement was written  about the Saviour of the world "He was moved with compassion for them,  and heal their sick". Stop being sorry for the sufferings of your friends, relatives or even strangers; be compassionate.
  The Holy Book said these about the Creator of the Universe "His compassions fail not. They are new every morning". It offers that yesterday's compassions are different from today's compassions. He has compassions for all issues. Since we are created in His image and likeness and as  He is, so are we; it means we have new compassions every morning to meet people's needs. These can't be exhausted. Stop saying "I can't be compassionate". Release these compassions and allow them to flow to others. By this, the world will be a better place to be.

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Thursday, December 27, 2018

WHERE ARE OUR MEN?


 Is going to church only meant for women? Is building a strong spiritual home only rests on the shoulder of women? Is going to see the Saviour of the world only meant for women? I think the spiritual foundation and  strength of any home rest on the shoulders of the fathers. As fathers, we should not leave the spirituality of our homes only to women while we are only concerned with providing money for the family.
   Let me tell you, being a breadwinner also means meeting the needs of your family spiritually, intellectually,  emotionally. You should always be there for your spouse and children. Always create time for them even out of your busy schedule.  Remember, you'll always create time for anything you love.  If you can create time to watch Chelsea and Man U; if you can can create time to watch champions league or Spanish la liga, you should be able to create time for your family.
   The Holy Book said a three-fold cord is not quickly broken. You, your wife and children will make up a theee-fold cord which cannot be broken by a strange woman.  Strange women are outside there to bring down any irresponsible man. You become an easy prey when you're not in connection with your wife and children because one may be overpowered by another,  two can withstand him and a three-fold cord is not quickly broken.
   I can't but mention this story of the Syrophoenician woman who begged our Saviour for the healing of her daughter. Even after insult upon insult, she didn't give up until she got her daughter's healing. Permit me to ask this question; where is her husband? Every father should be like Jairus (one of the rulers in the synagogues) in the Holy Book who humbled himself to beg our Saviour earnestly for the healing of his daughter. I pray our fathers adhere to this word of wisdom from our Creator.  #LOVE COACH. #I-teach-write-research-counsel. #Relationship-betterment-Love-impactor.